Gravey and Rice

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The joy of family

Before I moved over here last May, I had a nasty falling out with my siblings.

See, I was apparently a nasty, horrible person for getting married to a fantastic man and moving the kids to England, away from everything they knew. My brother called to inform me he was angry that he hadn't met my husband on either of his two trips to see me, because as my older brother he is supposed to "approve of my husband", whatever. (by the way- During my husbands last trip, when I called to invite siblings out to dinner to meet him, it was made clear to me that my brother wasn't speaking to me and wanted nothing to do with me.) It was during that phone call that my brother actually slagged off my 7 year old son, his beloved nephew, telling me how much better behaved his daughter was and how he never had any problems with her and how I must be doing something really wrong for my son to be having all the problems he was.

My sister called me to rant and rave about how horrible I was, how I was taking her niece and newphew away from her and how could I take them away from their only family? This conversation was made particularly pleasant when she called me a bitch and told me I had ruined everyones lives and she couldnt wait for me to be gone. My sister, who I have always had a lets say rocky relationship with and who I only spoke to once in a blue moon, usually to arrange birthday party times and holiday stuff. I had ruined her life. Wow, I must be GOOD, I hadn't even been trying.

The day we got married, my parents and kids were the only ones there. A couple of days later my sister called my mother and told her how offended and angry they were that I hadnt invited them. What? Had she forgotten that she hated my guts and that I had ruined all their lives? Suddenly she wanted to be there when I got married? Was she NUTS?

Our last night in the states my parents took my kids over to my siblings for a going away party. I sent over big bags of candy for my nieces and cards for my brother and sister. I stayed at home. The kids werent even given so much as a card. We left the next day and I havent looked back.

10 months on and I havent received so much as an email from my brother or sister. They didnt even bother to send my kids birthday cards, and Christmas came and went without so much as a word. I sent both my nieces cards and birthday gifts, and I sent Christmas gifts to my nieces and brother and sister. We even sent a get well card to my sister after a recent operation. No word if she even got it. Late last year my sister suddenly decided that she might come visit with my mom in April. She had all but bought the tickets when I heard about this from my mom. Boy, think she realized how conveinant it is to have a sister living abroad? I think my mother must have made my displeasure clear, though as my sister apparently decided to spend the money elsewhere.

Apparently my kids arent quite so beloved as I was led to believe. Any mention of their Aunt and Uncle is now met with a puzzled look until they remember who they are. On Christmas my daughter had no desire to talk to them on the phone, preferring instead to go to bed. My son had a very short conversation with them, and only because he's not 5 and I can make him speak to his family back home.

Ah, family. Over rated, I think.


  • At heart I think every family is messed up. It's hard to make sure they don't manipulate you into feeling guilty or low, isn't it?

    *hugs* (If you don't mind hugs from a stranger!)

    PS: The sunset in your picture is fantastic.

    By Blogger Utopian, at 4:29 PM  

  • Thanks Utopian. I don't let my family get to me to much anymore, I'm loving life here way to much! But, sometimes I do need to rant about them.

    That picture was taken by my husband, an overworked, underpaid, underappreciated yet fantastic photographer. He'll love to see the compliment! Thanks!

    By Blogger Erin, at 6:24 PM  

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