Gravey and Rice

Monday, May 15, 2006

Remembering what's important...

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by everything that comes with everyday life, don't we? And perhaps we forget the things are that are so important. That's happened to me alot lately. In a week it'll be my one year anniversary of moving to the UK to be with my husband. And I can honestly say that this has been the single most hardest year of my life, and I think it always will be. The ups and downs have been constant, with the ups being over the moon and the downs being hell and back. Our relationship has been put under the worst of strain, with a stubborn and pigheaded 8 year old that we love so much, a new baby, and dire money problems. Not to mention the cultural differences and age gap (I am 17 years younger than my husband). These things have weighed so heavily on me and I tend to blame myself for the troubles and for "ruining" DH's life. The other day, after a difficult conversation with my husband, I told him, while choking back sobs, that I would save some money and take the kids and leave.

This wasn't meant as a threat, it wasn't said in anger, and DH had done nothing wrong. It was simply me feeling that there wasn't an end in sight, that we couldnt continue like this and maybe by leaving I would be giving him his life back. It was then that he took me into his arms and told me that he wouldn't let me go back to the states. He would contest custody of all 3 kids and demand constant visitation if he had too.

This reminded me of the day a year and a half ago when my husband took my hands, looked me straight in the eye with tears in his and promised to have and to hold, for better and for worse until death do us part.

How could I have forgotten that? How could I have forgotten my own vows to him? Isnt that the most important thing? How could I have doubted his commitment to our relationship? And how could I be so quick to jump ship? I love him. For better or for worse.

I love you, David. And I'm sorry. I won't forget those important things again.


  • That put a tear in my eye. What an emotional post.

    By Blogger Lindsay, at 7:40 PM  

  • It's easier, for some reason, to write important things on the blog. Maybe it's just that I've always worn everything on my sleeve. Who knows.

    Thanks for the comment, Lindsay. I'm glad it had an effect. Or maybe, that you understood?

    By Blogger Erin, at 6:41 PM  

  • I understood. Hubs eventually told me that I was insulting him by doubting his committment to me and implying he didn't know what he was doing by choosing to be with me. Made a big impact.

    By Blogger Lindsay, at 7:40 PM  

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